April Stools

Saturday's Final Four blah-fest, unless you're a Gator or a Bruin, made me grateful for gold-rimmed goblets of Stella Artois at Stool Pigeons; I have an affectionate appreciation for the bar that served as my inaugural column three years ago.

Watching the games sequentially, a similar feat I accomplished in January for the NFL divisional playoffs, was ushered along by the nine Stella's, also poured sequentially.

Stoolies' has maintained a rather consistent approach, carefully eluding any association as a sports bar, but finds it difficult to delineate when surrounded by televisions carrying all the major sports packages. The menu is still a satisfactory selection of upscale bar food, having added interesting treats like sliders, pork shanks, and PBR chili.

They even walk out a dessert tray now. Seriously.

Not even the wind from the old Rhino Club spade fans could cool off the unexpected frustration of suffering through those two boring blowouts.

But for the record, I'll take UCLA tonight and the points.
***************
A full-feature Cans review, after the Observer's Tonya Jameson's P2P feature on Friday and my twenty minute wait in line Saturday night, will take a raincheck. Why?

The impending grand opening (Thursday night...Napoleon Dynamite's "Pedro" is back for another shameless cameo) notwithstanding, your patronage has made it nearly impossible to spend quality time with the staff thanks to an overwhelming early attendance.

Dragging my notebook inside, to be welcomed by some seven or eight hundred of you (or more?) was of little use when the credit card machines crashed, and the staff floundered to move product with cash only.

Instead, my fellow comrades ran interference and scribbled furiously on my pad the following:

"Cans girls love to show their cans!" An appropriate exclamation, but I saw none.
"I am disappointed by the lack of actual cans! My tongue longs for real -------. You would think a bar called Cans would satisfy!" Uh, shall we introduce her to the first gal?
"Please make sure you note that this place bites! It took 25 minutes to even get noticed at the bar then [sic] to get served!" Well, should she have showed her cans?

And on the last page, ironically, a poor sketch of a U. of Florida Gator. (I am a Florida State graduate. But yes, I am envious tonight. I lost my bet.)
***************
Folks who have missed their bangers & mash at Ri-Ra need only wait until approximately Sunday, April 16th, for the completion of the kitchen renovation. In the meantime, a catered menu of sandwiches and boxed salads fills in nicely.

Just add a Guinness to your order,slurp it with a spoon, and complete the soup-n-sandwich combo.
***************
Look for me at the finish line of the 10k at the Charlotte Racefest on Saturday morning, April 8th; presumably, I will be with a group huddled around a cooler. We've got to pull for one of our girls.

I abandoned this destructive cardiovascular activity in high school, and with good reason. I had a hard enough time filling out timely, and didn't need running to hinder my late pubescence on my girly little frame. Those skeletons that cross the line early really creep me out, anyway.

Email Bryan at charlottenightlife@hotmail.com.